Moms on a Boat
Back on the Boat! Lake Aitalan, Guatemala 2011
Whole shelves of chick lit are devoted to the topic of how motherhood can change you. I’ll add a story about my first pregnancy. On our “babymoon” (what a marketing hoax!), Deal Dad scuba dived while I, seven months pregnant, snorkeled contentedly off of the side of the boat. Accompanying us on the boat were several families. Without fail, the Dads were out snorkeling or diving with their kids while the Moms sat with their youngest on the boat. I became more and more enraged thinking about my next twenty years…Dad out there gallivanting with our older kids while I was stuck on the boat. By the time DD finished diving, I was in a rage. Apropos of nothing, I started bawling that I just couldn’t be “Mom on the boat!”
In the last nine years, “Mom on the Boat” has become shorthand for any holiday opportunities missed because of childcare. I used to get annoyed at my husband when he would point out gourmet restaurants or charming pubs in our path, because our dinner would invariably involve some form of pizza and our pre-schooler alarm clocks went off at 6AM no matter what time we went to bed! Finally I realized he was having MOB moments of his own. We both loved our new lives, but the ghosts of our scuba diving, pub crawling, pre-kid selves lingered.
Last year our vacation had Mom (and Dad) back on the boat, but also on a zipline, a tuk-tuk, and the back of a pickup truck in Guatemala. Turns out I haven’t given our kids enough credit: our then four and seven year olds thrived in the new environment. Yes, we ate more pizza than I would have liked, and we still didn’t get out after 8PM, but looking back I’m amazed at how much we WERE able to do. Our four year old daughter discovered a love of worry dolls and papaya; our seven year old roasted marshmallows in a volcano and bargained for his own souvenirs in Spanish.
And, best of all, the whole trip was about the same price as a beach rental in Ocean City. Granted, no Boardwalk Fries has a franchise in Guatemala, but I’ve never seen dragonfruit margaritas at Mango Mikes. I came back from Guatemala not only rested, but energized. I’ve learned that it’s no longer necessary to plan trips FOR my kids, but to find places that excite us…and that the children will feed off of our energy. I’m happy to report that this Mom is finally off the boat for good!
How have your kids surprised you? Please share!
What a great post – I am still laughing at your meltdown on the boat. My husband and I travelled extensively before our daughter and we decided we would continue to do so with her with just a few tweaks. When she was 4 yrs old we stayed in a very elegant chateau hotel in the Loire valley. I wasn’t sure if this was a good idea but she was treated like a princess. She sat on a velvet pillow at dinner since there were no booster chairs. She was able to leave dinner early and watch Disney movies in French in the adjoining salon.
As for sightseeing, we didn’t pack in as many chateau visits as we would have if we were on our own, but we stopped to pet a lot more dogs, eat more ice cream, and relax and picnic in the gardens/parks than we ever had. On that trip she learned to love crepes, escargot and Orangina.
Denise,
Thanks! I love the Chateau idea. We’re doing Europe with the kids this summer (first time for them) and I think at least one castle sleepover is in their future…
Hi. First time reading your blog, and this post really struck a chord with me. I had the exact same feeling when we took our first trip with the kids that I planned for me as opposed to just them. We had been going to Ocean City, Virginia Beach, etc., and it never left me feeling vacationed. But last year, we took them to Isla Mujeres in Mexico and it was awesome! Mostly because I thought it was an awesome place … the kids seem generally happy to be anywhere.
Hi Mary and welcome!
I totally get what you’re saying about not feeling “vacationed”. We’re doing the classic Griswold family spring break as I type and after the 12 hour car ride yesterday I can’t say I’m optimistic! Hopefully I’ve scheduled enough parent friendly stuff (2 bedroom condo, Kennedy Space subs for Disney, etc.) that we’ll get a bit of relaxation in as well.