You should all know the classic poem, If I Were In Charge of the World by Judith Viorst. We read it as kids, a lot…and dreamed about being in charge. Ive written my own verse called If I were Doug Parker in Charge of New AA World. Enjoy….
If I were Doug Parker in Charge of the New AA world
I’d cancel US Air catering ASAP and call Guy Fieri!
I’d ban 5 am Monday Morning flights
There’d be brighter nights lights, that wouldn’t look like the flight attendant light.
You would have bedtimes on overnight flight (shhhh!)
The no smoking sign would be replaced with a sign,
Don’t kick the seat back one more time!
If I were Doug Parker
You wouldn’t have chatty seat mates
Everyone would sit up straight
Luggage travels free
Babies? Sorry, there’s a fee
If I were Doug Parker
The safety video would feature JayZ
Chocolate chip cookies would be free
And no one would dare show “Flight” in air
And a person who sometimes forgot to brush,
And sometimes forgot to flush,
Wouldn’t be allowed in the cabin
If I were Doug Parker
Flight Attendants would be perfume free
And hand out deodorant when need be
The planes would be fresh and new
And you’d never have to worry about a late crew.
If I were Doug Parker in charge of the New AA World
I’d listen to frequent flyers.
I’d let AA run the social media team
I’d keep the best of both programs and put the competition to rest!
Amen.