Perry Platypus’s Mileage Run Pointers and Giveaway


Perry ponders his next trip.

The things that us miles junkies do to achieve and maintain status can sometimes seem crazy to outsiders looking in. Last weekend I was in the air picking up valuable EQM’s to retain my top tier Executive Platinum status with American Airlines. My home base is out of is DFW, which can make it challenging to get good fares out of a hub as well as being stuck right in the middle of the country. Not many transcon options available here. Earlier this year, I did a great 3 day trip to Singapore as well as another quickie trip to São Paulo, I have an upcoming trip to Rio and this past week I headed to Puerto Rico via the long way starting in Dallas, heading to San Francisco, onward to New York, and finally to San Juan. So I thought I would share some fun tips that I have learned along the way

Perry’s Pointer 1: Getting to know you, getting to know all about you.


Once again Perry has been subject to platypus profiling.

Get Global Entry for Pre-Check to breeze through security and immigration on the way back home. You are bound to eventually run late for a flight or may have to change terminals where you have to leave the secured area for a connection. Pre-check and Global Entry will make your life a heck of a lot easier. It will also cut down on the getting to know you time with the TSA. But if you enjoy that private time and like being an exhibitionist for the Nude-O-Scopes, then heck who am I to judge! TSA’s Pre-check new slogan should be “100% more travel with now 50% less grope.”

Perry’s Pointer 2: Let’s go clubbing



One of the many Admiral’s Club in DFW

Although you are unlikely to find a rave going at an Admiral’s Club in DFW, more likely you’ll see that kind of thing going on at a US Airways club in CLT. Those Carolinians can really party! That being said, I would recommend that any mileage runner get access to airlines clubs via a full membership, through a credit card or even a status match. I’m sure Mr. Pickles has more creative and clever ways to get access for free! A club is a great place to kill time before and after flights. It’s also useful for rescheduling flights and changing seats. It can be especially helpful during delays and cancellations.  Typically the lounges offer light snacks and a decently stocked bar. Clubs can make a long layover bearable; it also gives you a place to recharge all your electronic devices, and even your soul. You can to drink away your miseries when you see you are #1 on the upgrade list and the cabin has already checked in full. If you just can’t afford the fees for club access or happen to be at an airport that you don’t have lounge access you can always revert to the high school method, “Hey Dude, yeah you dude, can you guest me in for $10 bucks dude?”

Perry’s Pointer 3: Make like Gate Lice


If you happen to get upgraded at the last minute and have a bulkhead seat in first or coach, hover around the boarding area like gate lice so you can claim the small tiny storage bin above your seat and cram all you stuff in there before your seatmate gets to it. Then for added entertainment watch your seatmate scurry and struggle to find a place for their carryon. It’s fun for the whole family and can be quite entertaining throughout the whole flight. **Warning** Do not use this method if your seatmate happens to be your spouse. I know, I know, it is funny, but they will make the rest of the trip and possibility the rest of your life miserable if you do this to them!

Perry’s Pointer 4: Where’s the next Mega Doo?


SFO Admiral’s Club Shower Room

Some of your fellow travelers can be the most disgusting people on the planet. From clipping toenails at their seats, to walking barefoot into the lavatory, ACK! You can only imagine how some of them treat the public restrooms and even ones in the clubs. If you are desperately in need of a nice clean bathroom, go to the club and ask for the key to the shower. Many clubs have a nice private toilet within the shower room. If your tush gets cold while in Asia, they literally have bun warmers built in! Needless to say the shower rooms are actually a great place to take a shower after a long flight or even just as a private area to change into a fresh set of clothes. By the way, airport security doesn’t look kindly on people using the water fountains for bathing or so I have been told.

Perry’s Pointer 5: Lost in transportation


Perry’s typical overnight bag.

Don’t check a bag. Repeat, don’t check a bag. If you really have to then do it on your return flight home. If your bags do wind up getting lost for a few days, you can casually roam around the house nude. Just make sure the windows are covered to prevent unwanted visits from the authorities and of course, make sure you’re in your own home. Not really a smart move if you wind up doing this while at the in-laws. They already think you are crazy for flying as much as you do and this will just reaffirm their beliefs.

Perry’s Pointer 6: Call of Duty


Perry lets freedom ring!

I know this one might not be for everyone but I have a soft spot for servicemen and women. If you happen to see a serviceman or woman, thank them for their service. They are on the ultimate reward ticket by fighting for our freedom. The have to suffer some of the most grueling flights in coach or on military transports and they earn no redeemable miles while doing it! If you happen to have an extra drink chit, it can really make their day as well as give you that warm fuzzy feeling inside called patriotism.

Perry’s Pointer 7: Bribery loves company


Coffee, Tea or Perry

Bring along small denominations of gift cards with you: Amazon, iTunes, and Starbucks. One, you just might need one to use on yourself, but more importantly, give them to lounge dragons, gate agents, hotel staff and flight attendants that have made your trip enjoyable. There is a very good chance that you will be seeing them on the return flight, or even multiple times in a week. A little thank you goes a long way and keeps the drinks a flowing. On my international long hauls, I always give the flight crew some kind of gift like local chocolates and/or baked goods. Remember they can be your best friend for the next 7 to 12 hours. It’s a good way to insure you have excellent service and it can sometimes lead to goodies like extra amenity kits, better meal selections, snacks, PJs and even upgrades. Yes even UPGRADES.

Perry’s Pointer 8: Make friends and influence people


Meets up with an old friend at FTU.


Makes a new friend Suzanne Rubin at the Freddie Awards

Half the fun of travel is creating experiences by meeting old friends and making new ones along the way. You say, “Wait I have no friends and have limited social skills.” Fear not, there are treatment options available to you!  Social media sites like Foursquare, Twitter, and Facebook are a great way to interact with others in real time. Use online forums like MilePoint and Flyertalk to find out about local meet ups, DO’ss and other misc frequent flyer events. Bumping into people along the way can create lifelong friendships and experiences. So step out of your shell and stalk your favorite First 2 Board bloggers today! I’m sure they will be coming to an airport near you soon if they’re not currently sitting there right now in the club. “Ahhh, Hey Dude?”

Perry’s Pointer 9: It’s just lunch


Perry with Food Network Star and Chef Robert Irvine

I can’t be the only one that gets a kick out of those airline magazine ads. This kind of goes with tip 8 if you are going to fly halfway across the country or the world, try to meet up with a friend for lunch or a quick drink.  When time permits, I always like trying to get in a little local flavor and color. So the next time someone asks you why you flew all the way to San Francisco, Miami or New York and back home the same day, you can tell them “It’s just lunch”.

Perry’s Pointer 10: Bring snackies


Mrs. Perry Platypus makes some cookies for the road.

Mrs. P takes pretty good care of me. She always makes sure that I have a few snacks to take along with me for my mileage runs. You never know how long you will really be in the air or delayed on the tarmac or airport. It’s always smart to bring along a couple of granola bars, bottled water and other things that you happened to snarf from the airport lounge. If you stock up well on provisions you can develop your own on tarmac food service business. Unlike the airlines, you can accept CASH and credit card payments through PayPal and Amazon Payments. “Biscoff cookies anyone? Now only $2 a pack. ”

Perry’s Pointer 11: Shall we play a game?


Perry, is getting some work done while on the road.

Technology is your friend. Bring along your IPad, Kindle, Samsung tablet, laptop and your 1980s Sony Walkman. Download your favorite shows, movies and bring along those Madonna, Mötley Crüe cassette tapes and of course that dusty copy of 50 Shades of Grey that you have been meaning to get to. You’re gonna have some time to kill aboard this ride, so you might as well keep yourself entertained as well as be productive. Start a blog and use 10 minutes of that 12 hour flight to write a blog post as a break from the 11 hours of non-stop playing of Angry Birds!

Perry’s Pointer 12: Lucy! You got some splainin’ to do!


So, while doing mileage runs you are going to wind up missing some family events along the way like work, weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, meetings and that dog neutering appointment. Nothing makes up for a travel faux pas like gifts from a foreign country or specialty food from a far off land like San Francisco. Last year I made 17 trips to San Francisco in about a month and a half during a special AA promotion to get my Executive Platinum status. I was doing multiple fresh bread runs weekly for Mrs. P and all her co-workers. Their conversations kinda went like this: “Where did you buy this sourdough? It’s fantastic! My husband just brought it back from San Francisco. When did your husband go to San Fran? Hmmm, I think he went on Tue, Wed, Friday and Sat. I don’t really remember I haven’t seen him that much this month!” You can make up a lot with some gifts from the road so you might as well riffle through those duty free shops. You can really get yourself out of trouble if you decide to bring back a little something from Tiffany’s and Co.


Whenever Perry’s in town he always pays a visit to the flagship store on5 ave.

Perry Platypus Inaugural post giveaway!!!!!

I hope some of these tips are useful or at the least gave you a good laugh. To celebrate my first post on First2Board, I will be giving away a mileage run amenity package. It includes a American Airlines Business Class Amenity kit, a AA 10% off code good for up to 6 passengers on a valid flight through July 16th, an iTunes $10 gift card, a Starbucks $10 gift card, mini bottles of hand sanitizer, a United Airlines drink chit, Perry travel tissues, a couple of granola bars, Perry gummy snacks, a box of Puerto Rican candy and Brazilian chocolates from my last mileage run, and last but not least your own traveling Perry the Platypus.

To enter:

Leave ANY comment below to enter to win and let me know if you have a mileage run tip that you like to share with the class. One entry per person please. Open to US residents who are 18 years or older. Void where prohibited by law.

Last date for entry ends on May 19th at 11:5pm PST and I will draw a winner via random.org and announce the winner on this post.

AND THE WINNER IS:  #47! Dorene, congratulations! 

Disclaimer: First 2 Board, The Taxiway nor I have any association with Disney. My wife and I are just big Disney Nuts and have no kids, so we take photographs of a stuffed platypus instead. Strange yes, but uncommon, no!

57 Comments on "Perry Platypus’s Mileage Run Pointers and Giveaway"

  1. I have my first pure mileage run coming up in a couple months. I am flying SAN-BWI-SAN with a six hour layover in BWI. Hopefully I will have hot *A Gold by then with other flights so I will have lounge access! Thanks.

  2. My first “mileage run” was taking advantage of the TLV mistake fare last January. We flew EWR to TLV at about 3.3 cpm creditted to AA. Plus I got to visit Israel and Jordan!

  3. Michael H.(oldfox) | May 16, 2013 at 10:15 am |

    I try to find mileage runs where the lounges are good……. with good drinks. United’s IAH (Houston) lounge serves a great “bloody mary!” Helps ease the pain!

  4. Mileage run planned in September. DCA-ATL-LAX-SEA-MSP-BWI for $171.60 all in.

  5. Great pointers ! You think you have it rough? Try a MR from SC! Nonexistent! That being said, I just found a decent ATL – HNL fare to add a few miles to the account!

  6. tiffany l | May 16, 2013 at 11:01 am |

    nope, no mileage runs in my immediate future.

  7. Perry, Perry, Perry – so nice to catch up with you again. Enjoyed meeting you at the last MegaDo (my first, but hopefully not my last). I’m still relatively new to this game, but have already begun obsessing. Started mileage runs and am impossibly hooked on collecting points and status.

    Keep on running and hope our paths cross again.

  8. I’m surprised Perry Platypus doesn’t partake in packs of peanuts. Otherwise, he seems to have planned perfectly for practically every possibility.

  9. I wish I had a mileage run scheduled. But, AA out of ORD doesn’t always cooperate.

  10. Very fun and informative post! I look forward to using these tips and tricks on my future travels!! Thanks Perry!

  11. Good tips. Handy deodorant is a must. Pack it on so all you smell is yourself. I don’t think febreze-ing the cabin takes too well.

  12. I LOVE PERRY THE PLATYPUS! Phines and ferb has always been one of my favorite shows! I remember I used to get cranky in the morning if it wasn’t on while getting ready for work. Lol!

  13. Biggles209 | May 16, 2013 at 1:09 pm |

    I like the SEA-IAH-AUS and back mileage run. With 500 mile minimums IAH-AUS it can be cost effective. No red-eye, and lunch at The Salt Lick makes it even better

  14. Fun read! I enjoied it!

  15. LizzyDragon84 | May 16, 2013 at 1:32 pm |

    Awesome first post! I enjoyed reading it. I’m not an MRer, so no MR advice to share. I look forward to more posts soon.

  16. Jennifer C. | May 16, 2013 at 1:41 pm |

    I saw this tip somewhere, and it’s proven useful: Bring a couple packages of instant oatmeal. Airplanes have hot water, and you can make a quick, simple breakfast if you have an early departure or get delayed enroute.

  17. Take along a rock-crystal deodorant you get from the health food store, and you don’t have to worry about liquids in your carry-on.

  18. MidCentModFan | May 16, 2013 at 3:44 pm |

    Disney fan here too! I completely get your “platy posts”. I just got back after a week at the World. I have a penchant for posting Lady and the Tramp photos.

    As for MRs, I never check luggage and if re-routed due to a mechanical or bad weather, I always ask for mileage credit for my original itinerary (unless the new routing garners more miles!).

  19. Difficult to find many mileage runs out of MSY.

  20. Best post ever! Mr. Perry aced! So much better than other Blog which publishes already knew stuff! Congrats!

  21. Planning a mileage run from San Diego to Miami. Wish I had more time to stay in Miami but alas no time.

  22. Hey Dude, great writing & travel tips! Hope you keep the articles coming! Here is my travel tip: collapsible water bottle. Convenient, easy to carry/pack & essential on MR’s! Got mine (vapur element) from http://www.flight001.com, which has a good selection & is also running great contest in conjunction with AA: http://www.flight001.com/raffle/non-stop-giveaway/

  23. Absolutely hilarious tips! My only tip is to turn mileage runs into mini-vacations. Even leaving for 4 hours can make things more interesting 🙂

  24. My MR tip is to be prepared for the bump! Pack as lightly as possible, know the loads of your flights and the alternatives to get you to your destination, and be flexible/creative. And always request original routing credit! If you’re charismatic, ask the agent to note the PNR to ensure you don’t get the runaround after the fact.

  25. Perry interesting…

  26. Great tips and love Perry! Congrats on first post here and looking forward to others.

  27. I can’t believe they had Perry-themed cookies! That is so rad.

  28. Your Perry is so adorable. I wish I had tips to share, still very new to mileage runs!

  29. Haven’t done a mileage run in quite awhile

  30. Rebecca D. | May 16, 2013 at 11:15 pm |

    Still looking for my first viable mileage run!

  31. Watcha doin?

    (Only true PTP fans will understand…)

  32. Still researching my mileage run.

  33. Still planning

  34. DFW Travel Bug | May 17, 2013 at 12:23 am |

    Nice! Congrats perry! My mileage run tip is to convince the wife to let me do them in the first place…. by not letting her into admirals lounge with me 🙂

  35. Not a mileage runner (yet?) but it was great fun to read your post. Loved the part about SF and what your wife said!

  36. Perry!! Perry!!

  37. I don’t have a tip, but I know where that “Perry lets freedom ring!” pic was taken!

  38. love these tips. learning to better manage my miles b/c of you all!

  39. I’m on the lookout for good mileage run options out of PDX

  40. Sharon Jones | May 17, 2013 at 1:07 pm |

    no mileage run planned right now, but i’d love to win the goodies! milan in june is a vacation, but that’s a bunch of miles.

  41. Mattress runs, yes. But as to mileage runs, I’ve yet to try it.

  42. Oh well, back to the OWCA HQ…

  43. nothing at the moment, but i am eager to find out more.

  44. I have yet to do a mileage run. Great post! 🙂

  45. Carrying snacks and a water bottle – essential for Tarmac delays

  46. Thinking about doing my first Mileage run !!

  47. Welcome to the plush travel world.

  48. Terrific post Perry. I used to sing Laaary instead of Peeery.adey kids laugh every time.” Mom! It’s Perry, not Larry!”

  49. Excellent travel tips from my best pal, Perry!! We need to plan another meet-up soon! 🙂

  50. Very informative and entertaining post! Thanks!

  51. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate! Also, on a MR, since you won’t have a lot of other stuff to bring with you, consider bringing some of the books you’ve been guiltily leaving on your shelves and enjoy them! Useful in enabling you to ignore the “turn off all electronics devices” call….

  52. This is an interesting idea, wishing you great success!

  53. I haven’t done mileage run. but will definitely do at least once in the future!

  54. Using miles to fly to Europe. The tax and fee’s surprised me, but it’still all good.

  55. Sometimes making as many connections as you can and taking the latest flights pays off… free upgrades!

  56. aptraveler | May 20, 2013 at 2:21 am |

    Perry hilarious and Perry informative too., Well done friend. On MR’s I would remind folks to simply have fun! Many times we get caught in the numbers game of the much needed miles that we forget to enjoy the journey!

  57. I love perry and those are some super cute pics you took!

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